*Snickers*

These bumper stickers are he and larious. They denote the arrogance and stupidity of our citizens at the same damn time.  First, we aren't fighting for freedom guys.  I learned that from these things called books, which are housed in this place called... schools.  And of course, that place can sometimes be a church of misinformation, however they stated one fact.  See bumper sticker carriers, I'm not sure if you heard, but there was this war.  We weren't free back then.  When it came to religious persecution and levying fees without representation; the British were taxing our forefathers asses.  So that led to cats hearts and minds filling with anarchy *sons too*.  Based on the information in the books I read, I'd go as far as saying the war was got damned revolutionary.  Any of this ringing a bell?  Remember Paul Revere?  From Beastie Boys fame?  Yelling at the top of his pink lungs encased in Caucasian tissue that the British were coming?  Boston Tea Party sound familiar?  Though they talk about us dumping tea, but it was really grabbing British faces, and proceeding to drag our nuts across them.  Ol'e Paul wanted to call it "Colonial Face Rape" but standards and practices wasn't having that.  He was filled with inspiration as he spelunked a grown mans esophagus. 

See those guys fought for our freedom and all we did was protect this countries interests.  Which sometimes line up with corporate interests.  Let's introduce democracy to a country so that Apple can build a factory there.  That's the kind of interest I'll fight for but that kind of truth is harsh.  Can't put that on the bumper sticker of a Ford F150.  Doesn't have the same ring.  Should only be part of a whisper campaign and not on American automobiles.  And we as a country are confident.... Confident in the abilities of 18 kids who can barely show up for their shift at Steak and Shake.  And those 18 y/o minds don't care about that bumper sticker.  They are very few who think about "freedom."  My mind at the time would put everything before your freedom.  A nice pocket watch, women, hell a fantasy football team.  And I don't even have a fantasy football team.  Let's cut the charade... abolish these bumper sticker.  

Dictated and not read,



Zoseph H. Worthington III

Wonder

So ya boi has been on a Tinder odyssey of sorts.  Maybe it's been a tad perilous?  Nah, I'm being dramatic but shits been interesting to say the least.  Got hit up by this attractive woman.  She was white or as I called her; Caucasiously delicious.  It's always interesting when women contact me first via Tinder because typically if they hit me up first, they have a certain level of attractiveness that dictates that they ALWAYS contact a man first.  Have isn't a good word so let's go with lack.  Sure, some have been awesome people and we've had great conversations, but my ego has discriminating tastes.  I can't be seen with you if I'm embarrassed to let you go outside and get my mail or pay the pizza man.

At any rate, she was nice looking.  Cool looking sleeve, had one side of her head shaved with a couple of parts, nice shapely legs like she took dance lessons as a teen, but... not much of a butt *which is my thing*.  I actively prayed that she'd sprout one.  I could plant a seed, care for it, and await a bountiful harvest.  She kind of reminded me of Pink.  Had that one canine tooth that just wants to be seen; her mouth housed an attention whore. I don't know anything about Pink, but for whatever reason she has this trailer park-esque look to her.  And that sounds like a bad thing but it's really not.  I find it oddly attractive.  Like if you'd grown accustomed to dating black woman, but wanted to branch out, Pink would be your starter white woman.  She could help transition you from shea butter to some moisturizer with rose hips n shit.   What struck me immediately was her honesty.  Another gentleman had walked in and by his attire, you couldn't tell if he was steampunk or homeless.  Initially she thought he was I, and was gathering her things so she could roll out. 

It was an interesting conversation that I couldn't judge accurately.  Her face didn't move much so I couldn't tell if some of the things she said were true.  I talk about the truth thing because she came off like a complete asshole.  Intentionally... like she planned the conversation.  She openly admitted that she'd lie for no reason, never had a relationship *despite being 33*, hangs with people for a couple of months and once she has the necessary information or feels like she has them down pat, she ski-daddles.  Doesn't believe she's a good friend, cannot open up to anyone, and just a host of other things.  Now, I'm not necessarily judging because I've done all of those things in my life, however you usually don't tell people on the first day that this is who I am.  However, she showed signs of attraction.  There was touching, she flat out said that if she didn't like a person or wasn't feeling them, she would just bounce.  We talked for two hours. 

This story isn't like a joke with a punchline or a movie with a climax or plot twist.  I honestly have no idea what this woman's goal was.  Maybe this was an impromptu therapy session, of which I can appreciate.  We parted and said we'd talk again but it didn't happen.  Though in hindsight I understand.  I ask questions because I want to understand and for those who haven't figured themselves out, my conversation can be stimulating... yet draining.  Oh well.... 

One mo' gin

Been a minute since ya boi blogged and I'm not sure why.  I have plenty to talk about, I like running my mouth .  If I'm honest the hiatus was more a symptom of laziness.  An interesting kind of laziness though because as a NOW comic, I'm always writing.  Always jotting down ideas and trying to flesh them out.  It's quite possible that I've gotten so used to brevity, that long form just feels weird, or I'm justifying my horse shit *of which I'm pretty good at*.  At any rate, let's begin... one mo' gin.